On our drive to Cleveland, Jou and I talked about something that went deeper than golf.
He had an emotional blow-up earlier in the week. I told him that as we grow up, we naturally pick up traits from our parents, our family, and the people around us. But sometimes, those traits aren’t the ones we truly want. They might not fit the kind of person we want to be, and that’s okay.
Awareness starts with noticing that.
Noticing what we’ve inherited, what we’ve absorbed, and asking if it’s something we want to keep.
We’re in control.
The first step is to know the kind of person you want to become and what kind of awareness that person might carry. Once we can see the difference between who we are and who we want to be, we can start bridging that gap, one habit at a time.
It’s the same process as making a golf swing change.
First, you have to learn what’s correct and what’s wrong. You learn to differentiate the movements, awareness again, knowing the difference between what feels right and what doesn’t. Then you practice making the correct move while staying aware of the old one. That’s how real change happens.
Earlier this year, I told Jou that in his chipping, he was aiming left and swinging over the top to send the ball toward the target. He was making it work with pure athletic instinct, but that also meant he wasn’t aware of what he was compensating for. He could make it function, but not last.
A few months later, he started struggling to hit those chips solid again. That’s when he came back and asked. I told him the same thing: fix the aim first. Once he became aware of how his setup affected the motion and stopped fighting his own swing, his chipping came back immediately.
That’s the same in life.
It’s okay to have an emotional blow-out. It’s part of learning.
But you must have awareness – know that it happened.
To correct a mistake, we must first recognize it.
If we don’t even realize what went wrong, how can we ever change?
So now, when Jou faces frustration or anger, we ask one question:
“In this same situation, how would the person you want to become react?”
That question is awareness in action – the bridge between who we are and who we want to be.
That’s our compass – in golf, and in life.