For most of my life, I would have called myself an atheist.
I don’t live as if there’s a god, or gods, or powerful beings running our lives for us. I don’t believe the universe is keeping score, rewarding or punishing us based on hidden rules. And I don’t believe salvation comes from outside ourselves.
At the same time, I’ll be honest.
There are too many coincidences in life for it to feel completely random.
That could be observer bias.
It could be pattern-seeking.
It could be something larger than my understanding.
I don’t know.
And I’m comfortable not knowing.
What surprised me wasn’t an answer.
It was an aha moment — not of discovery, but of recognition.
The Aha Moment That Surprised Me
Recently, while having a long conversation with ChatGPT about some of the principles I hold dear, a small moment stopped me.
Out of curiosity, I asked for the translation of three ideas I live by:
pay attention (awareness)
cause and effect
execution
In Sanskrit, the word used for paying attention (awareness) is Buddhi.
That was the moment everything slowed down.
Because Buddhi doesn’t mean belief.
It means awakened intelligence.
Clear seeing.
Discriminative awareness.
Nothing new was added to my life in that moment.
But something familiar finally came into focus.
What Buddhism Actually Is
That’s when it finally clicked for me:
Buddhism was never about believing in Buddha.
It was about awareness.
Growing up, I misunderstood this completely.
In Chinese, Buddhism is written as 佛教.
佛 is Buddha.
教 is teaching.
As a kid, I read that as belief in Buddha.
I went to temples. I bowed. I watched people pray to Buddhas and 菩薩 for protection, luck, and good outcomes. I assumed that was the point.
Looking back now, I realize that was culture layered on top of something much simpler.
Buddhism is a teaching.
A way of awareness.
Not belief in Buddha.
The Buddha wasn’t asking people to believe in him.
He was asking them to look.
Look at suffering.
Look at causes.
Look at what repeats.
And then change execution.
Why This Didn’t Change My Life
This realization didn’t turn me into a Buddhist.
It didn’t change how I live.
It explained why I already lived this way.
I didn’t need a label for it before.
I don’t need one now.
I just keep paying attention.
What I Do Believe In
What I do believe in is self-improvement.
Improving oneself.
I believe people get better by paying attention (awareness), understanding cause and effect, and executing.
Not believing more strongly.
Not explaining harder.
Not wanting it more.
Executing.
Just do it. (Yes, I hear Nike here.)
I didn’t arrive at that belief through religion or philosophy. I arrived there through golf, parenting, leadership, leadership mistakes, and a lot of trial and error.
Living and working with a lot of people now, I’ve come to realize something simple:
For many, just executing is the hardest part.
Most of the time, it isn’t that we don’t know what to do.
It’s that we avoid doing it.
Things don’t change when belief intensifies.
They change when awareness arrives, cause and effect are understood, and execution finally follows.